writing about my life

In Defense of my and my Sister’s Life Choices

with one comment

Do you find it hard to believe that some people don’t have an ambition to be famous? This is surely not stretching the mind much. It must be clear to you that we live in a culture where fame is taken as some kind of reward for effort or virtue, and I simply choose not to be blinded by that. You know I don’t have much difficulty in refusing to conform to many things in society as I find it around me, after all.

One of the blessings of my life is that I can live and move as I please, and it would reduce my quality of life severely if there were engagements that I was forced to get up early for, or that were so pressing they would force me to take on uncomfortable amounts of responsibility. I mean responsibility to give a damn about things well beyond my survival, and thus supernumary to life. No one has a handle on my time, and having used my imagination, I find that extra obligations and duties would be something I wouldn’t like. This does not make me “ill” or a person with a damaged set of capabilities, either. It is clearly just a choice that I make to place myself in harmony with my requirements. I treasure a second hand paperback from a charity shop as much as some would an item far more expensive. But this choice makes me feel good, self sufficient, greener and many other virtuous qualities.

The structure of ideas in place around us means that many people seek to bolster their justifications to help them conclude they are in charge of their lives, doing well, making good choices etc. Just be careful that this doesn’t get out of control. Having been in a position where I was totally on the butt end of society, I am very wary of allowing the ideology of advantaged groups to push me around. I will fight my corner hard in this. If various people who have stayed on the expected train-tracks of life try to manipulate situations and their meanings to their advantage and my disadvantage then I am armed. There are things I have seen and done that are just as amazing as anyone. Since I now know that my mental structure is governed by my personal choice, you can bet I will conspire to feel just as much of a winner in life as any company director or bigwig. This means I will sniff out when others’ thinking is denigrating me.

It thus sometimes emerges that people like to advance on their own royal road to self satisfaction by implying that they can reform my life. It is an unfortunate part of this that those people believe they are in possession of information about mistakes of judgement I have made, particularly regarding various charitable activites that I have performed. They can’t reform anything. I am fully in charge and aware of the majority of choices I make about my future. That’s one of the reasons I don’t watch TV at all by the way. I won’t give dodgy ad men an opportunity to sink their manipulative talons in me. And I won’t swallow biased news reporting either, that aims to blinker the public to reality, and keep oiling the wheel of a machine that places all the capital, financial and moral in the hands of a few.

This goes together in my view with various individuals dismissal of my sister and her life. To people who truly know her my sister is a buoyant and exuberant source of happiness and light in the world. Mere income as measured on paper, or some very putative notion of success, is simply something she has not chosen to prioritise as much as her critics seem to have wanted. Ultimately what those critics seem to be seeking is simply the right to control her, or to build up their self regard gloating on her (imputed) misfortunes. It’s a feature of people’s world-views, and how they play out in mutual encounter, is all.


Written by Luke Dunn

October 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Posted in Prose

One Response

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  1. Are they the beefeater?



    October 31, 2012 at 4:51 am

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