writing about my life

Selfishness and Politics

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There was once a great new idea propagated (centuries ago) which grew to be called “DIY” which stood for “Do It Yourself”.

This was a craze that overtook thousands of citizens where they were able to save money by not paying builders who, as part of their fee, usually reserved the right to tell filthy jokes and sexually harass all female passers by as they were working on the client’s property. But it went further than that in time when it was found that ordinary folk could learn about politics and economics through a popular system called Facefuck. Printed copies, containing user submitted messages, were distributed in the market squares morning and evening. This grew hugely popular when people started to realise they could have a convenient narcissistic relationship where no other real human company was needed. The DIY ethic was reaching its pinnacle. All you had to do was stay alone and contribute to Facefuck.

Of course in periods around this time a common insult was also “Go Fuck Yourself”.
The analysis given to this idea historically was based around a suggestion that fucking yourself was a very unlucky thing to have to do, because by forfeiting the human need to fuck someone else, the unlucky (and hence, sadly, lonely) patsy would have no partner to resort to and thus would have to DIY and fuck themselves in a state of depression and social isolation. Thousands of British people were driven into penury at this time, since they could not afford the more favoured kind of German-manufactured horse drawn carts which were, de facto, the only way to attract a mate. And so, at this time, fucking yourself was a popular option, although many still remembered the days when fucking meant fucking someone else.

But later, as this period came to a close, opinions changes and “fucking yourself” came to be seen as something more desirable, in that the practitioner would be able to stay in perfect ease in his or her own home and amuse themselves in peace and comfort engaged in this new enjoyable pastime. They could keep a stock ticker open on their home computer and never even lose touch with the markets. Self was partnered to self and all were happy in a spiral of narcissism. You could fuck yourself and monitor your investments all day. Across the atlantic, the pernicious drug “crack” came a poor second. These were dark days.


Of course nowadays, with the benefit of historical hindsight, we can see that both options have their advantages, and thus the insult “Fuck Yourself” has lost some of its poignancy. Is it a blessing or a curse not to need a partner? after all if you are alone you still have Facefuck. And if you become lucky enough to fuck someone else then at least you can manipulate the contract and steal all their money.

And so, trying to synthesise, it is still the opinion of this author that certain members of the current Tory administration, having lost the opportunity of fucking the general public, will still be losers in the great mating game, since they will have no option other than to fuck only people that they know. The widespread population simply don’t like being fucked with a stock ticker running in the background. Maybe they prefer something more romantic. Thus the aforesaid circumstances will contribute to the socio-genetic group of those in government becoming ever more inbred and therefore likely to lose control of the precious reigns of power through congenital feebleness.

And so, lacking anyone who is not a relative to fuck, who will they fuck?

Themselves of course. Ahh but that is so fashionable… Everyone’s doing it!


Written by Luke Dunn

August 4, 2016 at 9:29 pm

Posted in Prose

Tagged with ,

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